Death By Sitting
by Chibi Tenshi Sama
Summary: KagMir fic. Kagome gets mad at Inu, and makes him sit.... a lot. but he doesn't die. I'm not that cruel.... High rating for minor profanity


Death by Sitting  
  
Warning: Characters are OOC (I tried to keep them in character *sob* I really did try T.T). And yes, this is a Kag/Mir fic. Original ne?  
  
Discalimer: Sadly, Angel doesn't own any of the InuYasha characters, but that would be a great birthday present, ya think? (hint hint, nudge nudge)  
  
"blah" - speech  
  
'blah' - thoughts  
  
*blah* - diary entry  
  
Enjoy!  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
*Dear Diary,  
  
I have finally come to terms with my true feelings. Upon plenty onf thinking, I have discovered where my love truly lies. He's wonderful, I know. Tall, strong, handsome, I don't know why I hadn't noticed it before now. But I'm starting to get ahead of myself here. I haven't even told you who 'he' is, Diary. Of course the one I speak of is Miroku-sama. I realize now as I write, that at some point in the past, I did harbour fruitless and unreturned love for InuYasha. Now that my love has turned from him to another, I can clearly see how much InuYasha has always loved me. It's tragic, as I see that only now. After it's way too late to do anything about it, or express any genuine interest. I guess the best and only course of action now, is to act ever the same, with the constant denial of any feelings for any one. At least until I can figure out whether Miroku-sama was only asking me to bear his child out of habit, or if there was any true meaning behind those words....*  
  
InuYasha dropped the book in disgust. Now he regretted his curiosity. When Kagome had left the feudal era for the final time, she had forgotten this "Diary" of hers. Inu Yasha's insatiable curiosity led him to learn how to read.  
  
'She had known I loved her for so long!' InuYasha raged internally. But wait. She had loved him before? Now his anger turned from her to himself. Dammit. He should have made his move immediately! But it was too late now....  
  
_____________________________________________________________________  
  
Kagome woke with a start. From the day she'd left she'd had the feeling she'd left something important behind in the feudal era. An extremely vivid dream of InuYasha reading her diary brought her to the alarming realization that it hadn't been updated in three months; mainly because it had been in the feudal era! Well there was nothing she could do at three in the morning, so she scribbled a note to herself, and went back to bed. But before she fell asleep, she had one last lingering thought. 'Since when did InuYasha know how to read?'  
  
The next morning, Kagome told her mother that she was going back to the feudal era, hopefully for only a few hours. Kagome ran out of the house as her mother yelled that she'd forgotten her shoes. Kagome, who wasn't listening, came to the lack of shoes revelation when she stepped into a puddle.  
  
Thankfully, school had let out for the holidays, and she wouldn't be missing anything much, although it was Thursday. Or so she thought. She'd forgotten Houjou.... again. Changing her socks, Kagome put on some shoes, grabbed some breakfast, and took some luch throught the well with her....  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
InuYasha picked up the diary again, and brushed the dirt off it tenderly. It was the only thing of Kagome he had left, even if it spelled the doom ofhis romantic life. He flipped a few pages scanning for any thing interesting. Eventually, he flipped back to last, and most recent entry:  
  
* ....if there was any true meaning behind those words which I have heard said over and over to many of the girls we've met. But that is too much to hope. Now the Shikon Jewel is complete and InuYasha gets his wish. In closing, Diary, I tell you that I wish I had only half Sango's chance at getting Miroku. With InuYasha around, Miroku and I have no future of being together.  
So long, Kagome*  
  
InuYasha closed the book. 'Stupid bitch' he thought visciously. Suddenly, a brilliant idea raced into his head. "There's someone that needs to 'help' me read this...." InuYasha cackled. He wandered to the village where Kaede and Miroku were teaching him to read. Approaching Miroku, InuYasha began, "Hey Miroku. I found this book, and I was trying to reda it, but there are a couple of difficult words that I couldn't quite get...."  
  
"Let's see. Which words were you having problems with?" InuYasha hadn't foreseen this question, but he flipped to the last entry and picked a random lengthy word. In the meantime, Miroku was reading the page. As he finished the page, he looked up at InuYasha's face, which was a little too innocent. "Are you sure you're haveing problems reading this? It seems pretty basic. Unless, of course there was something here you wanted me to read? And you wanted to remain incognito?" Miroku questioned suspiciously.  
  
'The powers of deductive reasoning' InuYasha thought, but he said, "keh. Do you think it's something that you should read? Because if so, by all means, go ahead."  
  
Miroku looked at him with an unreadable expression, then looked past him with amusement.....  
  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
Kagome climbed out of the well and headed in the general direction of Kaede's village. Within about ten minutes, she heard some familiar voices conversing over to her right. She turned and headed into the trees. Even from a distance, she spotted the bright pink and lavender book InuYasha was holding. Miroku looked past InuYasha an smiled at her as she yelled "Osuwari!"  
  
InuYasha, upon hearing that feared word, crashed face first into the undergrowth. Miroku burst into laughter as InuYasha struggled back into a standing position. He was still clutching Kagome's diary in one hand.  
  
"Osuwari!" Once again, InuYasha ate dirt. While he was still on the ground, Kagome snatched the book from his hand. She then turned to Miroku. "You didn't read it, did you?" she asked him nervously.  
  
"Only about a page or so," Miroku replied. "Should I not have read it?"  
  
Kagome figured he had most likely read a page near the beginning, or, worst case scenario, somewhere in the middle, where there was no incriminating information. "You shouldn't have read it. It's private stuff, but I guess if you don't read any more of it, then it's alright."  
  
"I see...." Miroku began, then paused before continuing. "But why did you write it if it's not to be read? It's a book, isn't it?"  
  
"Never mind." Kagome flapped her hand dismissively.  
  
Miroku stared at the pattern of flowers on the cover of the diary. "I had no idea you felt that way about me." Ignoring Kagome's blush, he continued, "Anyway, why did you come back? I thought you said you were going to stay in your time?"  
  
"Two reasons. One: to retrieve my diary,"Kagome responded, "and two: to see if osuwari works in other languages," she continued with an evil glint in her eyes.  
  
Kagome looked around for InuYasha. He was long gone. "Now let's see. Where has InuYasha gone?" As if in answer to her question, InuYasha appeared, scrambling through the trees like there was something annoying, small, and indeed cute following him at a high speed. Indeed, Shippou was a few feet behind him. "Hi InuYasha!" Kagome hollered all too cheerily.  
  
"You seem happy. Did you get your dearest wish? Your deepest desire?" InuYasha began to quote lines from her diary, "This from the last page of that book of yours." He continued in a high voice of mockery: "I wish I had at least half Sango's chance at getting my sweet, lovely... (what else did you say? ummm....) tall, strong, handsome Miroku. Keh."  
  
"OSUWARI!!" Kagome yelled seething with rage. Randomly, the evil glint returned to her eyes, and she smiled. "InuYasha. Sit." InuYasha crashed to the ground swearing black and blue.  
  
"What in the seven hells was that?" he questioned. "That certainly was not 'osuwari.'"  
  
"No. It was English. Sit ^_^. Now French! Assayer! Now what was it in Italian?" Kagome comtinued, InuYasha effectively getting "sat" each time, even if her pronounciation was off. When she was done going through eighteen different languages, including Spanish, German, Arabic, and Chinese, she started again. when she was satisfied with her revenge, InuYasha was in severe pain, and the ground had an InuYasha-shaped crater in it. After thirty-seven conecutive "sits" in total, Kagome felt Kinda sorry for him and apologized.  
  
"I swear to anyone that's listening, I will never insult or mock you again, for fear of death by 'sitting'," InuYasha declared with something that under other circumstances could have been respect.  
  
Hope you like, R&R! 


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